Five tricks to show your support, even if your hobbies are other
I can not think of anything more boring than to stay next to a body of water, throw a fishing line tied to a stick and wait for, with luck, a fish to see it and bite it. However, for my husband it is one of the great pleasures of life.
Houston, we have a problem.
My husband would prefer to go fishing every weekend, more than once if he could, whereas I would prefer to do anything before this particular, ahem , sport. Over time, we’ve both learned to come to an agreement because, well, that’s what love is about. I want him to be able to enjoy the sport that he loves and he wants me to enjoy my weekends.
An obvious solution is for him to go fishing while I stay at home and do other things that I like to do. However, we live in the center of the city, so to get to a body of water you have to drive a long time and a fishing expedition requires at least a half day. In addition, we have a small child with whom I am at home during the week, so when the weekend comes and my husband and I have free time, the truth is that we want to spend time together.
This being the case, our agreement means going fishing every two weekends. We all go together and, while my husband fishes, my son and I explore the surrounding nature. Maybe when I grow up it becomes a good hiking trip, but for now it looks more like a “Do not swallow stones, spit them out!” Or a “Do not get too close to the water!” Or my frenetic one, but infallible, redirect tactic: “What is that I see? I think it’s someone walking with a dog, let’s see it! “
However, we all feel good outdoors and activity. And although I do not especially enjoy staying attached to a fishing rod, I do like to be in nature, listen to the water and sit on a good rock under the warm sun.
I also recognize that fishing is a good and healthy way to spend time. So I have nothing to object to in that aspect. Fishing does not harm our family time when we go together a couple of times a month.
So, if you are in a similar situation and you have a loved one with a hobby that you do not like at all, here are a few ways to show understanding and support.
Find the positive
Surely there is something that you like and that is related to that hobby. Is there food involved? Is the place where the activity is interesting? Are people who also come to make the hobby entertained?
Support from the margin
Can you support your friend, spouse or family member in any way without participating in the activity? Can you encourage from the margins? Can you help them with the preparations and the collection?
give it time
You can also support someone by simply making sure they have time to do their hobby . If your best friends want to go practice shooting, offer to take care of their children so they can go. If your mother wants to go to the knitting fair but can not drive due to a recent surgery, offer to take her and pick her up.
Listen to him talk about his favorite topic
Find out a little about the subject, enough to have a basic knowledge of your hobby and be able to ask your loved one, the expert or the teacher in the subject, to talk and to help you understand it better. There is a saying in English that fits very well to this situation: “fake it ’til you make it” , that is, pretend interest in this topic until the activity really ends up interesting you, which is what usually happens when we strive in knowing something new.
What prevents you from really participating in that hobby? Okay, maybe it’s not your favorite, but is it something you could do from time to time to show love and support?
You do not have to enjoy the heart with all the hobbies of your loved ones, and vice versa, but you can look for ways to support each other. Although I do not imagine that one day I could fall in love with fishing, I do love my husband and I want to show him that his happiness is important to me, just as I know that my happiness is important to him.
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